Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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