Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
