Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
