i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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