I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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