sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
