Me too!
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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