His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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