Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
