You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize