Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I hate all girls vehemently.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
