i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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