How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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