He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
