Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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