I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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