you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
