it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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