the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
