i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize