this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i will never coherently bang her
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
this hospital has no fireball
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
