I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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