lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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