I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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