You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
