hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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