Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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