What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
