So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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