did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
