It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
