i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
