i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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