I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
