I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You may now shotgun with the bride
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
This is classic penis vs brain.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
