After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
