She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
