Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
