The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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