Define "chronic" masturbator.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
