he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
