listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
