sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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