I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
