well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize