Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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