I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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