Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
