How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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