Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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