i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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