I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
