Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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