nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
