he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
