my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
