absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
