Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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