just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
