I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize