i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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