im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
