You just made me feel so damn special
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
