all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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