Soap is not a condiment
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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