Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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